Opossum Wrangling

Sharing an old post again......because it's funny.  

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Opossum Wrangling

Yeah, sounds like something that would happen in KS doesn't it!

I went to bed about 12:45 last night.  5 minutes later my little girls (2 mini-daschunds) start barking like crazy.  I get up to let them out.  They run out the back door barking like there is obviously something in the yard that doesn't belong there.

I use a flashlight to look out all the windows on that side of the house.  I can't see anything but I hear sounds that tell me they, and our golden retriever, are cornering some sort of animal.

So, what do you do in these circumstances? Do you wake up the husband who has a business trip in the morning and needs his sleep?  No, you wake up your 24 yr old daughter and tell her to grab a flashlight.  Why?  Cause she loves crap like this just like I do. haha

So we go out the back door.  Heather is about 4 feet in front of me.  I tell her to slow down, she doesn't know what's out there.  Could be rabid.  Right about that time our golden retriever comes happily running (FAST) out of the dark towards us with a very large live,  but playing opossum, opossum in her mouth.  I'm closest to the door so I run inside.  I hold the door cracked. Heather, stuck outside now, jumps fast and high right up on top of the hot tub.  At this point she and I are both alternately screaming and laughing hysterically.  Screaming for the golden to drop the opossum and screaming at the little dogs to get in the house.

Mollie does drop the offending creature. Right on the patio.  I still have the back door cracked, Heather is still on top of the hot tub.  I'm still trying to get both of the little dogs in. Emmie actually dragged the opossum a foot across the patio.  The creature was bigger than she was.  So, finally we get both little dogs in.  I've got Mollie by the collar and Heather is going to try to get the opossum out of the backyard. Mind you, it IS alive.  It's only playing dead.  It was breathing and it moved several times.

So, Heather grabs a small plastic dustpan and tries to scoop up the opossum......doesn't' work.....So then she tries....wait. I should mention that I'm laughing my ass off right about now....So then she's crouched over this opossum who is half in her dustpan and proceeds to try to push it farther into the dustpan with the TINY flashlight she is holding....she stops, looks up at me and says "they don't bite do they?".  OMG I seriously thought I was going to pee my pants.  It was all I could do to get out a squeeky "yes" without laughing too hard at her.
Heather gets it in the dustpan and asks me what to do with it.  I tell her to toss it over the fence.  We'll deal with it on the side of the house in the morning.  Well she goes to toss it over and the handle on the plastic dustpan breaks and the opossum and the dustpan fall at her feet.  Mind you, I'm laughing more because I can't really see what happened and I'm imagining that she didn't get it high enough to go over the fence but just smacked it INTO the fence. In that half second I had flashbacks of Peter from Family Guy trying to get a dead frog out of a window with a shoe box.....something you'd have to have seen to understand.

Ok, opossum is on the opposite side of the yard which is fine because Mollie, the golden, can't go to that side because of an invisible fence.  We'll deal with it in the morning.

This morning I take a gander (that's what we say in KS) around the backyard.  He's gone.  I'm sure once he realized he was safe from the dogs and the chick poking him with the flashlight, he hightailed it back over the fence from whence he came.  or something like that.

OK so this was about 20-30 minutes going on.  The screaming, the laughing hysterically, more of both....we come in the back door and here comes the husband wanting to know what's going on. Heather and I were laughing like loons.  Most fun I've had at almost 2 a.m. in a VERY long time!!

Chris

Don't ask

WHOOPS! I DID IT AGAIN.

Well, I did it again. Just like this post, I've forgotten how old I am again.

Heather asks me how old I'll be this year and I say."53".  She does the math(even though she IS only a girl), and tells me nope, I'm only going to be 52.

This is the 3rd time I have done this. I feel like I'm cheating the aging game or something.

Very strange.

Group texting CAN be fun.

My kids and grandkids will all be home for Thanksgiving next week.  My daughter Heather started this group text message to get everyone up on the plans for Wednesday. So now, you can finally be a fly on the wall for a conversation among the Green family.  Although we sound crazy as loons I promise we are all mostly quite sane.  Mostly.

Heather Hawk:

Bowling Wednesday.

Bowling time is 6:00. It is $9.00 per person for 90minutes of bowling, shoes are included). If we decide we want to continue for longer it is $3.00 more per game (if I understood correctly) I reserved 4 lanes, 2 with bumpers. We can order pizza through AJs. Mom said we will call AJs the morning of to make sure we don't have to wait 5 hours for food. I will also be bringing a cake for Brayden to celebrate his birthday. The boys playing for the football tshirt whatchamacallit- you will get one practice round. Second game is for the win!!! We are all super excited!! Shirena- Daniel said you don't get off till 6:30, we will make sure we don't have cake without ya;) I'm sure we won't even start bowling till around then anyway getting everyone all set up and such! Michael and I will be in town Wednesday early afternoon, the kids are super excited to see everyone!!! (And I'm starting to think we should have an epic bowling tournament every year!) 

Also side note- I was told there might be a military discount the lady wasn't fully sure but we will know day of.) see you all soon!! 

Joe Green:

We will be there around Wednesday afternoon as well. Kylie is super excited to see everyone.

ICE- Michael Green:

I am super-excited as well. Can't believe we are inside a week

Jarrett Green:

I am currently in town now, and my various kids are in a heightened state of anticipation as well. Am I doing this right? ;)

Daniel Green:

Initiating celebratory protocols. Engage. 

Heather Hawk:

Perfect

ICE- Michael Green:

So on a scale from 1 to 5 (where 5 = SUPER excited), can I get a rating on each grandchild. I would like to chart it out and get get an overall feel for the excitement.

Jarrett Green:

Are floating point numbers ok? Are YOU going to normalize the data or should I just round?

ICE- Michael Green:

Davis = 4.2, Rylie = 3.7

Jarrett Green:

That answers my question

Chris Green:

Oh My Gosh! 

Daniel Green:

Davis is obviously the outlier 

ICE- Michael Green:

Send in raw data, rounded to the nearest tenth please. 

Heather Hawk:

Malachi= 2.2 brayden= 4.0 Abbi= 5.0

Daniel Green:

5.0? That is suspect data for sure 

Jarrett Green:

Daniel is correct - I suggest a scatter plot to better identify outliers

ICE- Michael Green:

Children with excitement levels below 3 will have limited access to pizza 

Jarrett Green:

For instance, caedmon is at a 0 - he has not been told. And Crosby has no Idea of 'self' or 'time' or 'cake' and thus is impossible to quantify

Daniel Green:

Then obviously we need to graph  the normal distribution 

Heather Hawk:

I'll get out my SPSS chart and graph this stuff

ICE- Michael Green:

However Caedmon's response can be estimated based on previous interactions with the target audience. We could then apply some form of analogous estimation to Crosby based on his  joint interactions with Caedmon (ie, Crosby is  65% as excited as Caedmon when cake is involved)

Daniel Green:

^this ladies and gents is how you skew data to meet your out comes ;)

ICE- Michael Green:

We will never be able to determine the appropriate level of excitement if folks do not think outside of the box 

Make some assumptions, calculate  your risk and send me a number. I need this no later than 1300 today. 

Shirena Green:

If there is homework involved, my excitement level just dropped.

Jarrett Green:

Just hopped out of the shower and realized how bad of a programmer I am. Caedmon is not at a 0 - he is a null value. Huge difference. My bad everyone, I'll submit a ticket.

ICE- Michael Green:

Skew. It is subjective data anyway. It cannot be scientifically calculated so quit overthinking and give me a bloody number. 

Daniel Green:

Shirena is now at 2.12

Jarrett Green:

Lol

Heather Hawk:

We have missing data

ICE- Michael Green:

I did not request excitement numbers for children, only grandchildren. That will skew the numbers. Typical Daniel. 

Shirena Green:

There are other variables that can come into play here.

Heather Hawk:

I will make assumptions for the missing data

Jarrett Green:

Just told Caedmon. His response was 'ok, sweet' I think that's a 3?

ICE- Michael Green:

I assumed the excitement levels would remain constant based on previous experience 

Shirena Green:

Our kids have very exiting stuff between now and then so their levels are skewed a little 

ICE- Michael Green:

Jarrett  a 3. Never up or down. Daniel s 5.1 if there is a beer. Heather a 4.9 until someone pisses her off

Daniel Green:

Hahaha

Jarrett Green:

That's about right 

Heather Hawk:

I thought this was levels for the grandkids. 

Daniel Green:

I'm at 0.13 without beer

Heather Hawk:

Daniel you will get your beer

ICE- Michael Green:

Joseph is the wild card here, potentially a 5 if that same girl is working the bar.

Shirena Green:

Lmao

Jarrett Green:

Lol

Daniel Green:

Hahahaha

Heather Hawk:

Haha

ICE- Michael Green:

Keep up heather

Jarrett Green:

Is .13 you BAC Daniel?

Heather Hawk:

I'm trying to braid a 5 year olds hair. It's hard to keep up!

Daniel Green:

Always 

It's my baseline 

Jarrett Green:

Lol

Heather Hawk:

So what information is needed here. Are we looking for the mean meridian mode range?? 

Jarrett Green:

Modes are useless IMO

Heather Hawk:

Not in all cases

Shirena Green:

Math hurts my brain

Heather Hawk:

You can only use the mode when the level of measurement is nominal. 

ICE- Michael Green:

Now in laws. Mike a 4.2 because he gets to show off his chuck Norris kids. Shirena a 2.5 because sports are involved and she doesn't get to bake anything. Kristy a 0.4 because she's pregnant and shouldn't have to leave the house. 

Daniel Green:

ICE- Michael Green:

Hey I was looking for a simple average. 

Jarrett Green:

But pizza. Kracky loves pizza

Shirena Green:

You seem to be forgetting the last time we bowled together! I'm excited to kick some butt

Daniel Green:

AJs pizza nonetheless

Did Dad's excitement level account for his near 100% of injury at a family gathering?

ICE- Michael Green:

Since I'm management, I'm just going to go with an overall of 4.1 and call this shindig a success. 

Toe injury is not something to make light of. 

Heather Hawk:

Dad so your looking for the average. M=∑ x / N

I second that I will be in a boot

ICE- Michael Green:

Made an executive decision. Submitted 4.1 to your mom. 

Heather Hawk:

 get a part of a bone removed and this is what's left

Daniel Green:

The answer is clearly π 

ICE- Michael Green:

No I just need to make the numbers fit. Can you help me with that?

Heather Hawk:

Pie!! I love pie

Shirena Green:

Wait! I thought we were having cake!

Daniel Green:

And gross heather / I just ate breakfast

Heather Hawk:

Lol

I have plenty more gross pictures

;)

Jarrett Green:

Way to go management: come up with a number before all data is in

Heather Hawk:

You will like it or no beer for you sir!!!

I feel like next time I'm stuck on my statistics homework I'll just post a group chat of the problem and let yall hash it out

Daniel Green:

Heather Hawk:

Daniel Green:

Heather Hawk:

Are we gonna do secret Santa thing between kids again??

Daniel Green:

Not talking about Christmas until after thanksgiving 

Heather Hawk:

Lol

Well I need to know!!

I will be in Texas for Christmas Eve 

Daniel Green:

And you will.... AFTER thanksgiving ;)

Heather Hawk:

If anyone is going to Texas for Christmas Eve and returning Christmas Day or before, do they wanna let Jacob tag along??!????

ICE- Michael Green:

No christmas until after thanksgiving meal! 

The patriarch has spoken, so let it be so. 

Summertime!!!

My favorite thing about Summer.  No schedules.
The thing I hate most about Summer.  No schedules.

The summer has started out slowly at our house.   We've only hit the waterpark once.   By the end of summer we will be going almost every day.  We are pacing ourselves right now.
Rylie is in a summer volleyball league and Davis will have a 4 day football daycamp in July.  That's it.  Those are the only two things we have scheduled.

Summer lasts the perfect amount of time.  About 2 weeks prior to school starting in the Fall the kids start to get bored and I start to get frazzled. Until then we'll just enjoy the sun, the pool, friends and doing whatever we please.

I hope others have a wonderful summer as well.

Christmas Memories

Some of my fondest memories of growing up are from Christmastime at my maternal grandparent's house.

  

All my young life my grandparents lived 3 1/2 miles from us.  We saw them often.  We spent a lot of time at their house.  Sometime each December my grandparent's house would make a transition.  Christmas decorations went up.  I never saw it happen or ever helped to make it happen.  It just did. 

The first thing you would see upon pulling up in front of the house were the lawn ornaments.  A large painted plywood Santa Claus and some characters from Peanuts.  I know there were other things but I can't remember everything. But I remember those.  Seeing those meant that great things were about to happen.  Christmas!  

Inside the house was always decorated wonderfully. My grandfather always wore his very colorful Christmas vest. It was awesome. I'm not sure where he got it but he always wore it. There were decorations galore. Elves and old plush Santas. Red ribbons entwined in the lace of my grandmother's white milk glass pieces. My grandmother had handmade all of our stockings that were hung at her house.  All with very personal items attached to them. Old charms, a penny from our birth year, an old Brownie pin that was my mother's. White rabbit fur trim on the top.  I have mine still and it hangs now on the front door. It's one of my most cherished keepsakes because my grandmother, Mammaw Edie, made it just for me. 

As a grandmother I'm sure I will NEVER compare to my own grandparents. I do hope that in 30 years my grandkids will think back with good memories of us and our home.  Maybe they will remember the silly large inflatable snowman in the yard or Poppa's lights with the star on the fireplace.  Maybe they will remember the long mantle of stockings in the living room.  

Maybe, just maybe, they'll remember the decorations we bought just this past weekend.  We just couldn't pass them up.  A small Charlie Brown, Snoopy and Charlie Brown's famous Christmas tree. They are about 2 feet tall.  They immedietly reminded me of the Peanuts characters in my grandparents yard.  Maybe my grandkids will remember them the most.  Like I did.     

Lazy With No Dreams

That was me.  I've been lazy with no dreams for quite a while.  Years even.

I used to wake up, take the kids to school and then fall asleep in my chair around 10am.  In the evening after dinner I would try to fall asleep in my chair while we were watching television. Twice I dozed off while talking on the phone to my daughter.   If given the opportunity I'm sure I could have slept around the clock.  I'm not sure when the dreams stopped.  I'm pretty sure it was a gradual thing.  No happy dreams, weird dreams or even nightmares.


Why?  Obstructive Sleep Apnea

I snored.  Evidently it was pretty loud because family members could hear me no matter their location in the house.  Michael said he could even still hear me during his  morning shower!  I also would wake up several times in the middle of the night.

So, two sleep studies later and I have a magical machine next to my bed.  It's not pretty.  It has a long tube and a full face mask.  But now I don't stop breathing during the night.  Michael said I used to snore, gasp and struggle to breathe during the night.  Now he says it's nice and quiet.

So, now I'm sleeping during the night and I haven't wanted/needed to take a nap at all during the day!   And because I'm finally falling into a deeper sleep, I'm dreaming again.  Weird.

WOW, it all makes sense now.

I wish I knew whose masterpiece this is.  It's awesome!!!!

Heather does it again!

If you were lucky enough to read my Whack-a-Mole post you know that my 26 year old daughter has no trouble getting dirty.

So, we had some sort of clog in one of the main drains.  We spent 5 hours on Friday trying to snake it out from every plumbing orifice in this house.  I could not use the dishwasher, the kitchen sink, or the clothes washer!  I really NEEDED all of those things since every towel in the house was wet and gross from all the flooding....and when this happened the dishwasher was full of dirty dishes ready to be washed....ugh ugh.

After so many hours on Friday I asked Michael if we could just quit for the day.  So this morning Michael is sure that the clog is part of the plumbing that he replaced, so he knows what needs to be done.  All of this is in my crawl space.....and MY crawlspace is the reason they named that area under the house a CRAWLspace....Although it wouldn't have hurt to name them Army Crawlspaces.  Seriously.

 So, I call Heather(she's supposed to be here in 2 hours so I can babysit for her) and I ask what she's doing. She says getting the kids dressed.  I say "Can you just throw them in the car and go down in the crawlspace with your dad?".  Her exact reply was "yes, be there in a minute".
So, Heather crawls under the house over to the big line that must have the clog.  Luckily it was attached with a rubber connector with clamps....we have super old and nasty pipes.  She was able to open the pipe, and with the help of a long coat hanger, pull out a clog that was VERY large....mind you there was disgusting water behind that clog.  She came up soaking wet.  Michael supervised her because there's not a lot of room down there and if you can get one skinny person in there you've got it made.
At least this time the plumbing didn't involve used toilet water...if you get my drift.

So, the score goes like this.
Old house with really crappy plumbing - 0
Heather - 2

WHACK A MOLE

TODAY

NOOK Color

First things first. My hubby spoils me. Almost 30 years of marriage and he can still surprise me. For my birthday this year Michael and the little kids surprised me with 3 different gifts on 3 different days. Gift 1 was a signed photo of my fave hockey player- Mason Raymond. Gift 2 was a NOOK Color! Gift 3 was an authentic Vancouver Canucks jersey with of course Raymond and 21 on the back. ALL wonderful presents on their own. Michael went a little overboard.

The NOOK Color is unbelievable! I had a regular NOOK but this new one is amazing. Besides it holding all 76 of my ebooks it does everything. Email, web browser, Facebook, Twitter etc etc etc. It's fast too.  Just as fast as my macbook. I am seriously in awe. Forgot to mention I can load pictures and music on it. And there are apps......games....yes even Angry Birds. Now I have no clue what the Kindle can do because I've never held one.  No way it can compare though.

I am obviously the NOOK Color's biggest fan.